Crazy is Love
by wanderingmind911
Summary: Sokka has fallen for a beautiful girl. Problem? She's a Fire Bending Princess. Bigger Problem? She's Zuko fiancee. EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM? Tsubasa has caught Zuko and Katara almost making out, and Jerry Springer joins the cast!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Sokka has fallen for a beautiful girl. Problem? She's a Fire Bender Princess. Bigger problem? She's Zuko's fiancée. Ah, well, he has more important things to worry about anyway, like saving his own sister from Zhao, who is using her for bait. The Avatar? No silly, _Tsubasa, _Zuko's fiancée and the one Sokka's falling for! But maybe Zuko will save Katara from Zhao first… Ok, I'm going to shut up before I give the whole story a way.

Author Notes: There's like a love…octagon or something going here. SokkaXOc ZhaoXoc ZukoXkatara AangXbeans…yyyyeaaaahhh

* * *

Chapter One

Thus The Insanity Begins

There are many places Tsubasa would rather be right now. Like, burning in a furnace, or hanging herself from the ceiling, or maybe even sitting at the dinner table with the King of Omashu. Shutter. Ok, maybe not that. But with that being that second worst place she could be, this was the first. Being chased by Fire Benders. Her own people! Her own _guards! _She personally knew one of them, Azi! He had saved her from certain death (certain death being she nearly walked into the bathroom while Iroh was in there and Azi quickly informed her that the old man was on the toilet and she couldn't go in until they did a 24 hour decontamination routine)! Now he was chasing her through the woods. The woods of all places. It could have been the beach, it could have been an open field it could---

"AGH!" Tsubasa ran face smack into something…err someone. A boy. A guy. Well, that awkward stage where a boy is almost a man but not quite there. So…a guy. WHATEVER. She needed protection so she quickly hid behind him.

"What the---" The boy started. He looked up and saw the Fire Benders running towards them.

"AH," he yelled and hid behind Tsubasa.

"Hey, I was hiding behind _you,_" Tsubasa yelled. The guards were getting closer.

"Well…I didn't know you were hiding from Fire Benders," he yelped. Not yelled…_yelped. _

"Your no good anyways," Tsubasa screamed, "your voice is still squeaky!"

"Is not," he squeaked.

"Is too! You just squeaked!"

"I don't squeak!"

"You did it again!"

"I DON'T SQUEAK!"

One of the guards coughed and said, "Uhmmm excuse me?" The two looked and saw that they were staring blankly at him.

"You did squeak," Azi comfirmed.

"RUN," The boy yelled. There was really no need because Tsubasa was already ten yards ahead of him, and gaining. The boy followed behind shortly.

* * *

"…Huh, huh, I think…I think we lost them…" The boy (err guy WHATEVER) panted.

"Yeah…" Tsubasa gasped collapsing on the ground.

The boy cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for hiding behind you. I'm Sokka."

"…Tsubasa…"

"God bless you."

"No," Tsubasa panted, "that's my name."

"Oh," Sokka muttered "sorry."

"So, Sokka do you think you could carry me?"

"Uhmm…why," he asked.

"Cause I'm about to pass out." And so she did. Sokka sighed and not carried but _dragged _her to where Aang, Katara, and he were camping out.

"What do you mean you lost her," Zhao shouted.

"The last time we saw them they were headed north, at least we know that," Azi reported.

"North of the island, eh? Well, that's where the Avatar is…humph…I can bag two prizes in one…" Zhao began laughing manically.

"Uhmmm sir?"

"What," Zhao asked short temperedly.

"…Your pants just fell down."

**

* * *

**

**Me: And thus ends the insanity! **

**Tsubasa: Yay insanity!**

**Sokka: Yay hot girl!**

**Zuko: Yay I'm gay!**

**(Tsubasa, Sokka, and I stare at Zuko)**

**Zuko: What? It rhymes.**

**(Zhao holding on to his pants) Ok who pulled my pants down?**

**Me: It was probably Zuko. He's gay.**

**Zuko: WHAT? It was probably YOU! You're…uh…your face!**

**Me: Yyyyyeah it was Zuko. **

**Tsubasa: What kind of boxers does he wear, Zuko? **

**Zuko: Silky maroon…I mean…I don't know!**

**Me: Zuko you're a terrible liar.**

**(Zuko looks around) Sokka did it!**

**(Sokka looks up from stuffing his face) huh? **

**Zhao: Actually they were silky evergreen. I wear the maroon ones in bed.**

**(All stare at Zhao)**

**ME: Ooook I'm going to just wrap this up! (runs away)**


	2. MORE STUPIDNESS!

**Jessica**: Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm glad to hear that about my style…blushes Thanks a million!

**Katuko: **lol? Not a LMAO? Or a LMFAO? Or even a LMMFAO? Maybe even ROTFALMMFAO? Just…LOL? Well thanks for reviewing! I think…

**The Almighty J. T. Blade: **I get what you mean about being stupid. That's why I called the insane society. They'll pick you up shortly! Anyway, yes it DOES get crazier from here so don't you worry! And yes…maybe zuko IS gay…wonders

Now ON with the story!

* * *

Meanwhile…

Below deck on Zuko's ship, Zuko himself came out in a black tux and nike sneakers. The lights on the cieling started flashing across the crowd of guards who were jumping up and down and waving their hands in the air.

"YEAH" One Guard screamed "MUSIC NIGHT ROCKS! I LOVE THIS! I LOVE BOB!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO ONE GUARD!"

Bob and One Guard left the ship right then and got married in Massachusetts.

"Hit the music, Uncle," Zuko said moon walking across the stage.

DJ Smack Daddy I.R.O.H throws on a record and turns the music all the way up. Zuko grabs the mic and sings:

_I'm the kind of brotha  
Who been doin' it my way  
Gettin' my way for years  
In my career  
And every lover  
In and out my life  
I've hit, love and left the tears  
Without a care  
Until I met this girl who turned the tables around  
She caught me by surprise  
I never thought I'd be the one breaking down  
I cant figure it out why _

I'm so  
Caught up  
Got me feelin' it  
Caught up  
I don't know what it is  
But it seems she's got me twisted  
I'm so  
Caught up  
Got me feelin' it  
Caught up!

He whirled around and did a split, ripping his pants. One of the guards jumped on stage and grabbed the mic.

"Sir," he announced, "we've spotted the Avatar."

"Great," Zuko said ripping his tux off "let's catch Kata--- I mean the Avatar!"

"Sir?"

"What," Zuko asked brushing back his err…_hair. _

"You don't have any underwear on."

_

* * *

_

_Back on some random island…_

Tsubasa's eyes eased open.

"Whe…where am I?"

"Your safe," A gentle voice said. It was Sokka.

"Sokka…?"

"It's ok, I'm here."

"Yeah," Aang said "but Katara isn't. Zhao captured her…we need to find her!"

"Well we would," Sokka said "if you'd stop stuffing yourself with those beans!"

"Yeah, those are _my _beans!"

"Hey, aren't you suppose to be the Author," Tsubasa asked.

"Yes."

"So why are you in the story?"

"BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT! Anyway I dropped those beans when I stole Zuko's under…under…uhh…"

"Underwear," Tsubasa said.

"NO NOT HIS UNDERWEAR! HIS UNDERWATER CAPE!"

"…Underwater cape?"

"Yes. Yes exactly."

"Ooook. Anywho, we need to find this Katara or whoever. Who is she anyway?"

"MY SISTER I'M NOT DATING HER, SWEAR!"

"Ok, Sokka chill I was just wondering."

"…beeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaanssss," Aang said.

"We may have to do this without Aang," Sokka mumbled.

**

* * *

**

**Zuko: You stole my underwear!**

**Me: Did not!**

**Zuko: Did too!**

**Aang: Beeeeeaaaaaannnnnnnsssss**

**Me: Give me those BACK!**

**Aang: Beeeeeeeeaaaaaaaannnnsssss**

**Zuko: DID TOO! DID TOO DID TOO DID TOO!**

**Tsubasa: Will ya'll shut up, I'm trying to sleep!**

**Sokka: Since when did Avatar people say ya'll?**

**Me: Sometimes they do! Like in episode three when Zuko is lying about not finding the Avatar when he says "Just like you said the Avatar died a long time ago" his voice is country!**

**Zuko: No it ain't!**

**Bob: Hey you guys I was just letting you know that we're having a little get together at One Guard's apartment so if you would like, come over then that'd be just dainty, ok? Ok. Thaaaanks.**

**Me: Where did that come from?**

**Tsubasa: you. **

**Me: Oh…yeah. Hey Zuko guess what?**

**Zuko: WHAT?**

**Me: You're still not wearing any underwear.**


	3. G STRING

YAY! CHAPTER THREE IS HERE! But first, some commentary from reviewers!

**Katuko**: Ahhh I look forward to writing the bold prints myself. Thanks for reading, and there where be some KataraXZuko sooner then you think. By the way I wasn't trying to mean about the LOL thing. So sorry if I offended you!

**Nikki**: YES BEANS DO GIVE YOU GAS! AND I LOVE USHER TOO! That's why I made Zuko sing it…he'll be doing other songs too. **laughs manically**

**JT Almighty**: If you haven't heard the song Caught Up LISTEN TO IT! Yes, he's rapping in the song scene. I know you're sane. But I'm not. It's a lot more fun when you're not totally there.

**Meg**: Sorry about that…I'm just trying to make it has stupid as possible. If you don't like that kind of stuff, then you don't have to read it.

**Gold-sliver Dragoness: **Hehe, glad you loved it so. ZUKO SHALL NEVER GET HIS UNDERWEAR BACK! IT'S MINE! MI--- ohh look a birdie!

**Slyther: **(throws brick at the random bystander who hit Slytheriness) TAKE THAT MORON!

**Jessica: **Bad girl reading fan fiction in the Library! You should be doing it while the teacher is talking, or when the hall monitor is being chased by an axe murderer and needs your help! Tisk, tisk, tisk…

Thanks to all who actually review! YOU GUYS ROCK MY SOCKS! Also, I don't mean to sound desperate (Zuko coughs loudly. I whack him on the head.) But take a look at Just a Legend and tell me what you think of it. I really want to make something of it.

**Zuko: **Yeah…you're desperate

**Me: **At least I don't have to watch my mom's workout video to have a---

**Tsubasa: **ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter 3

On Zhao's Ship 

Katara was struggling against the tight ropes that held her wrist.

"Tell us where the Avatar is," The guard demanded, "so we can sneak off to Zuko's ship and listen to DJ Smack Daddy I.R.O.H!"

"NEVER," Katara said, "As long as Aang is my friend I shall never tell you where he is! He is the Avatar the savior of the world…"

"Oh God," the guard groaned "we have a monolouger…"

Suddenly Zhao burst into the door with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Ok," he shouted "who has taken my tickle-me-pink fuzzy G-string with the silky hearts on it?"

"…You where a G-string," Katara asked.

"Only when Zuko is approaching," Zhao answered.

"Why only when Zuko is approaching?"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS! Who are you anyway?"

"Katara."  
"KATARA? I wanted the Tsubasa not the do-right monologue queen of boredom!"

"Hey," Katara said "I DO NOT monologue! I speak out for those who can't speak about for themselves! I defend our nation and the wor---"

"HIT HER WITH THE HOSE," Zhao commanded. One of the guards unrolled the hose cord and hosed her down.

"Man all this talk about hose is making me feel very…_manly. _I wonder if I shout where my black leather dog chain underwear instead!"

"What's up with him and underwear…" the guard wondered allowed.

"It's cotton fresh," Zhao replied and skipped to his room. The guard died right on the spot.

"Ohh," Katara said breaking off his hand "MEAT! I mean…neat…"

* * *

On Appa

"So do you have any idea where your sister might be," Tsubasa asked.

"She might be with Zhao or Zuko," Sokka replied.

"Zuko," Tsubasa said gulping.

"Uh huh, why?"

"Ohhhhhhh…nothing…." Tsubasa said unconvincingly. Sokka stopped the bison in mid air.

"What," he asked seriously.

"Well…lets just we used to see each other and…"

"Yeeeeees?"

"…I was his girlfriend and…"

"YOU'RE STILL DATING HIM?"

"I'm his fiancée."

Sokka's jaw dropped. "Anything ELSE you'd like to share with me?"

"Yes actually. I'm a fire-bending princess and there's a fireball headed straight towards us. But it's too late now cause it's already hit us and we're falling from the sky…wheeeeeeee!"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

"What do you mean," Tsubasa asked.

"I LO----" They hit the bow of the ship.

"You what," Tsubasa asked.

"Oh…never mind," Sokka grumbled.

**

* * *

**

**(Me, Sokka, Tsubasa and Katara sitting in the movie theater)**

**Me: Poor Sokka!**

**Sokka: HEY! You're the one who brought this out on me!**

**Me: I know (laughs evilly)**

**Katara: (sniff) I just love romantic comedies!**

**Tsubasa: even when Zhao is talking about his fuzzy pink G-string?**

**Katara: That's the best part!**

**(Tsubasa scoots away from Katara. Zuko comes running up with extra large popcorn)**

**Zuko: What'd I miss?**

**Me: Nothing, except Katara taking a shower.**

**Zuko: I MISSED KATARA TAKING A SHOWER! NNNNNOOOOOO!**

**Me: Should I tell him?**

**Sokka: Nah…let him suffer.**

**Aang: beeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnssssssss**


	4. HAHAHAHA!

TIME FOR CHAPTER FOUR! But first some comments from my slaves…I mean minions…I mean…reviewers. Yes. Reviewers…

**Itagaanchi: **Why beans? …I have no clue…

**Slyther: **You love the story?Would you like to marry the story? It recently just had a divorce with George Bush, so it can't be THAT hard to get…G.W IS a monkey. (JUST KIDDING GEORGE I LOVE YOU!)

**Mrs Delrossi 2.0: **Yes disturbing indeed…laughs evilly

**Spleef: **I'm not sure about lvoe. Is it a German world for hump or something? Why can't you just love the story like Slyther? Lol just joking I know what you mean. Glad you like it.

**Nikki: **I rock your socks, huh? What about your…underwear? Anyway yes I agree. USHE IS HOT! **Looks at Usher who is tied to a chair next to her**

**Almighty TJ Blade: **WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE KATARA IN A SHOWER? **gags compulsively** anyway, Holy Hand Grenade? Huh…sounds interesting…Anyway Iroh is secretly a DJ! DUH! Don't you know a secret DJ! And it's DJ Smack Daddy I.R.O.H, not master. But yes. I will continue the craziness. Because you demand it and I'm bored. Very, very bored.

**Everto: **Glad to make you happy. Here strap this on yourself and see if it makes you feel happier (straps a firework to Everto's back). No need to sue me, just thank me.

**Author: **Ok, now that's done a few announcements. Writer's Block and Holiday have been erased, and will soon be replaced. HEY THAT RHYMED! Also I have a new horror fiction up. Yay me. I just got done reading the **novel **the Ring and it has me in an 'I want freak people out mood'. So…yeah. Uhmmmm… Don't have anything else to say. ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

After Sokka and Tsubasa stood up, brushed themselves off, did my homework, had breakfast with the queen, went to the mall, drank a margarita, got drunk, went to a rave, woke up confused, brushed themselves off again, did the chicken dance, got laid, one a million dollars, became broke, sang in a American Idol, were booted off, got laid again, paid the bills, joined a band, broke into a bank, learned to whistle, got laid one last time and then saved the world Zhao stormed out of his ship with his leather underwear on.

"What do you want," he demanded.

"Uhmmm I'll have a McDonald's Super Combo with fries and an extra large coke, with some chicken nuggets…and what do you want, Tsubasa?"

"I'll have a Taco salad with sweet tea," she replied.

"Hold on," Zhao said. He went back in the boat, and got their order.

"That'll be 12.99," Zhao said handing Tsubasa the bags. Sokka handed him the money.

"Ok," Zhao said "now what do you REALLY want?"

"A frosty milkshake…" Tsubasa elbowed Sokka.

"My sister back," he sighed.

"Your sister has been kidnapped. Again."

"By who?"

"Zuko."

"What," Tsubasa cried.

"YES," Sokka said throwing his arms in the air.

"Why would Zuko want your sister," Tsubasa asked.

Zhao shrugged. "Said something about his undying love for her."

"WHAT?"

"It's ok Tsubasa," Sokka said "I'm here. Cue the music guys!" Suddenly Tsubasa fell into Sokka's arms triggering the (place favorite FOX TV climatic sad yet sappy drama show music here).

"Oh Sokka," Tsubasa said the wind suddenly blowing in her hair and looking ten times sexier then she does off camera "you're all I have left?"

"Does that me we'll get laid?" The music suddenly cut short.

"Err…I mean…I'll be with you always…Tsubasa!" The music started playing again and the sun slowly sank beneath the sky. And thus 90210 sued me for taking their come back love scene for 2007, but to hell if I care!

"Well…this is disturbing…" Zhao muttered and he walked back into the ship. He had lost his love (not really his love but his way of getting back Zuko by stealing his girl), and his favorite G String.

"Maybe," he said out loud "I need to rethink my life." So he went to Fox and got a contract to be a new Celebrity Show Host, and later was the ancestor of Ryan Seacrest.

* * *

On Zuko's Ship

Katara was once again tied up to a poll.

"You'll never get away with this," she cried. Zuko put a finger on her lips.

"Katara…I have something special for you…"

"A Water Bending scroll?"

"Errr…no…"

"The key to a million dollars?"

"No…"

"…DJ Smack Daddy's latest record "Fire In Da Hoes?"

"NO! It's a song. Written by me. For you. HIT IT BOB!"

_Katara, I love you,_

_No matter what you do,_

_Even when you where blue,_

_I know your true,_

_I have a plant named sue,_

_The Author of this story doesn't have a shoe (_HEY!)

You make me go coo-coo 

_I'd wear a tutu,_

_Just for you,_

_Katara, I love you!_

"So what'd you think!" Katara stared blankly at him. Most of the guards on the floor were dead, save for one, who saved himself by ripping his ears off and eating them.

"It was…nice…" Katara lied.

" I knew you'd understand! And even if you don't you're tied to a poll, so you can't do anything about it!"

"Not unless I have anything to do about it."

"SMACK DADDY I.R.O.H," Katara yelled.

"Don't worry," the mysterious DJ said, "I'll save you!"

**

* * *

**

**Me: Ha ha! Cliffhanger!**

**Zuko: This story does have a plot…right?**

**Me: Sort of. No. Not really. Not at all. **

**Zuko: Oh.**

**Aang: Beeeeeaaaaaaaannnnnnnssssss**

**Me: WILL YOU GIVE ME THOSE BACK?**

**Aang: Beeeeeeeeaaaaaannnnnnnsssss**

**Katara: Ergh! Now my underwear is missing!**

**Zuko: REALLY?**

**Katara: No…(runs into her room and locks the door)**

**Sokka: Uhmm…Tsubasa and I will get laid…right?**

**Me: Why would I do that? You all must suffer…SUFFER!**

**Tsubasa: So we'll all have to listen to Zuko sing his own song again?**

**Me: Hey I said ya'll had to suffer, not me!**

**Zuko: What's so wrong about me singing?**

**Me: Everything, Zuko. Everything. **


	5. I LIKE TO MOVE IT!

Thus I finally have time to update my perilous novel of love, destiny, and beans. But first reviewers comments since I care so much about them!

**Zuko: **You do? But I thought you said you were going kill them all…

**Shoots Zuko in the head**

**Crazyloverofboys: **Well…I guess I'm going to have to make it funnier so **you will **die. (Zuko grumbling in the background: **Told you she wanted to kill them… Sokka: Yeah…we know)**

**Purple Moonshine**: What's wrong with Zhao in a G-string? Huh? Can't a man show off a little of his piece of pride? …Ok yeah I'm going to burn myself for saying that.

**Spleef: **First lvoe, and now OMG. What does OMG stand for? Old Men Got it? Really now…Old Men don't Got it! Except Iroh…maybe…

**Slyther: **I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may do…I mean kiss…the bride!

**JT: **I don't fear your Fi-YAH! For I am a Fire Bender! (burns JT to a crisp) MUWAH HA HA HA!

**Nikki: **I have **no **idea what you were trying to say in your review so I'm just going to run that direction (runs from Nikki)

**Everto: **Yay! He won't sue me! (straps a grenade to his foot)

**With that said and done, a few useless words from the Author! In a week or so I'm going on vacation, and in that time I'm going to be working on my article for the newspaper in our neighborhood, so I may not be updating as much! If you have any complaints, tell my news editor.**

* * *

Zuko looked away from Katara at his uncle.

"Stay out of this, Uncle," he growled.

"He's not your Uncle he's Smack Daddy I.R.O.H," Katara said.

"You wanna go to my concert," Smack Daddy I.R.O.H asked. Katara nodded enthusiastically.

"But… I was gonna ask her to go to _my _concert! It's not fair! I'm telling mommy!" Zuko ran out of the room wailing like baby. BECAUSE HE IS ONE HA HA…ok shutting up now.

* * *

At DJ Smack Daddy I.R.O.H's Concert (Zuko's Ship)

"Katara," Zuko yelled over the music "there's something I have to tell you!"

"What," Katara asked.

"I love you," Zuko yelled.

"What?"

"I SAID I LOVE YOU!" At the moment Zuko said that the music stopped. Everyone stopped dancing and looked at him except for one guard who danced himself out the window and died a slow painful death.

"Did you say you loved her," one of the guards asked.

"No…I said…I like to move it! I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. You like to?"  
"MOVE IT!" And suddenly the Move It Move It song was blaring over the speakers and everyone was dancing again. Zuko sighed and went to the bow of the ship, took out his guitar, and began singing.

She's blood, flesh and bone  
no tucks or silicone  
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound  
but somehow I can't believe  
that anything should happen  
I know where I belong  
and nothing's gonna happen, yeah.

Cause she's so high, high above me, she's so lovely.  
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite  
Do, do, do, do do  
She's so high, high above me.

"Oh Zuko!" Katara ran up to and threw her arms around him.

"I never thought you could sing that well," she said. "But now that I know you have a sexy voice, a rich Uncle, and a sweet guitar you have to know…I LOVE YOU TOO!"

"Really," Zuko asked.

"Yes…" they began closing in on a passionate possibly lead to 'in bed wrestling' when…

"Zuko!"

"Tsubasa!"

"Katara?"

"Sokka!"

"Prince Zuko?"

"Sokka!"

"Beeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnssss…"

"Tea anyone?" Everyone turned around and saw Iroh (not DJ Smack Daddy I.R.O.H) holding a try of tea.

"Sure, I'll have some," Tsubasa said. Thus, everyone gathered around and sipped on tea and played 21.

"Now," Iroh said after he won 45 games of 21 "we can all settle this in a organized manner…"

(5 Minutes later)

"DIE PRINCE ZUKO!" Sokka was sitting on Zuko's back pulling his leg back, Zuko was grabbing for Katara's butt, Katara was in Tsubasa's headlock, and Iroh was playing Momo at 21.

"Don't you think you could solve this?"

"…Who me? I'm the writer of course I can!"

"Then why don't you!"

"Because they must suffer!"

"Suffer, eh? Hmmm…"

"But you know what? I'll throw in something interesting…" Suddenly there was a loud bang. Everyone stopped what he or she were doing and turned around.

"Oh my God," Tsubasa said "it's…JERRY SPRINGER!"

**

* * *

**

**Tsubasa: You brought Jerry Springer into this?**

**Me: It was either that or Zhou's G-string**

**Zuko: Oh, I have a G-string! Yeah, but I know how to wear them though…**

**Me: Unlike…?**

**Zuko: Zhou, duh! His butt can't even cover the string.**

**Me: Charming…**

**Tsubasa: You have a sick mind**

**Me: Yes, and you all get to be a part of it. **


End file.
